The Dangers of Pre-Marital Pets

Nov 16, 2012 -- 3:56pm


I have come to the conclusion that an unmarried couple getting a pet together is a sure fire way to end their relationship.                                                

Case in point; this couple I knew a few years back. After getting engaged, as a present, he bought her a little Yorkshire terrier. Now, if you know anything about dogs, you know that full-bred Yorkies are some damn expensive dogs. This guy probably dished out upwards of $700 to $1000, just so his queen could have the cuddly gift that she so readily deserved.  

A few months went bye and everything was set. The wedding web site, the “save the date” refrigerator magnets, everything. Then, with about 4 months left to go before the wedding, I spotted her at a party with another guy.

Sure enough, they soon broke off the engagement and she ended up marrying the party dude! They are now expecting their first baby and have a Yorkie who doesn't know who its real father is.                                                          

Another couple I knew also decided to get a joint dog, with him keeping it at his house and her flipping the money for the vet bills. They had been going strong for 3 years or so, when suddenly, out of nowhere, they broke it off. She stayed here for school and he ended up moving away. With no place to keep the pup, they finally had to give him over to some friends. Sad face.

I’ve got one more. A girl I used to work with had a cat. She loved that cat. And when I use “loved”, I mean "obsessed with". She threw him birthday parties, dressed him up for Halloween. The thing was her whole world. I asked her once how she came to get him, and she promptly told me that he was a gift from a high school boyfriend. When I asked what became of the guy, she said that she didn't know, they had only gone out for a month!  Turns out, the cat was a Himalayan Siamese somethin' or other and the sucker cost several hundred dollars!              

I believe that the real reasoning behind couples wanting pre-marital pets is their unquenchable longing to share something together. They say, "We don't want a baby, so let's get a dog!"(Although, this is not always the case.) The only problem with that is a dog IS like a baby in many ways. It will wake you up in the middle of the night, whining to be cuddled, and it requires a large amount of your time and attention. Not to mention money. (Cats, on the other hand, just want to be fed. They really could care less about you.)                                                                    


The curse of the pre-marital pet is something I've tried to get across to two of my friends, but they refuse to listen. She desperately, desperately wants a dog. Not just any dog. A Corgi. They’re going to name him Todd or Vixie if it’s a girl. It's all she freaking talks about.

He currently works in Oklahoma for an oil company and she's still finishing up school down here. I've tried to tell them about the curse, even pleaded with them, but my warnings have fallen on deaf ears. Come hell or high water, they're getting a dog. It's not going to be hers or his, its going to be THEIR'S! Granted, they've been going out for 8 years, so I'm surprised it's taken this long.                  

For those of you who are wanting to get a pet out of wedlock, please heed my warning. Or at least think long and hard about it, because if you end up breaking it off it's the pets who will suffer.                                                                         


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